Gypsey & Musquito
382 Bridge Road, Richmond Australian, Cafe, Coffee and Tea
- Big Breaky Skilley
- Herbed Potato Hash
- Smashed Avocado
- Camel & Crocodile Sausages
- Gypseys' Own House Baked Crumpets
- Pink Bits Smoothie
- Coffee Malted Milkshake
- Turmeric Latte
The Herbed Potato Hash was quite tasty and enjoyable. With two perfectly poached eggs, the yolk was exceedingly runny. Complemented by the lemon myrtle hollandaise sauce, the slight tangy and sour sensation cut right through the rich greasiness of the crispy fried bacon. All sitting on top of a crispy potato hash, which contained crunchy strands of potato within, this dish was diverse in texture and made for an enjoyable meal. The bacon would've benefitted from a minute more on the grill, which would give it a crispier sensation.
We also enjoyed the Smashed Avocado. With a hint of lemon, the avocado was fresh and flavourful. This was well contrasted by the light crumbs of goats cheese on top, which provided a good depth and diversity in flavour. With two eggs poached to perfection, the combination of corn, avocado and egg yolk went exceptionally with the toasted sourdough. The tabouleh, mixed with the fresh and crunchy corn and tomato, made for a healthy and refreshing meal.
The Big Breaky Skillet was undeniably mediocre, and far from big. All the ingredients were unceremoniously piled tightly into the tiny cast iron pan. With the spinach sitting limply at the bottom of the pan, it was exceedingly greasy and overly salty, mainly thanks to the oil and fats rendered from the sausage and bacon. The bacon was lacking in crispiness, while the wallaby sausage, perhaps due to the lean protein, was tough. This was not helped by the Damper, which was overwhelmingly dry, hard, powdery and felt about a week over its used by date.
We also found the range of exotic sausages rather underwhelming. They were universally too tough and dry. The crocodile was quite gamey, while the camel bears close resemblance to a normal beef snag. Also, serving those sausages on the tiny cast iron pans were a completely unnecessary balancing act.
While the Malted Coffee Milkshake was enjoyable and contained bold and forward coffee flavour, the drink was definitely lacking in creaminess and could be served colder.
There is just no other way to say it, but the service was downright atrocious. This was undoubtedly THE worst service I've ever received at any venue. It was a good half hour before someone attended our table to take our drinks order, and another 20 odd minutes before the completely wrong drinks arrived. The barista even had the nerve to ask if we would be "happy" to take the wrong drinks!
As the drinks gradually trickled to our table, we were notified that our food docket was lost and we had to reorder. TWICE. 45 minutes later and after multiple chase-ups, the food did eventually arrive, with key ingredients missing from the dishes.
Allegedly, this was all caused by a "computer issue" and being "very busy". This though, hardly explains losing dockets and serving the wrong food, coupled by the attitude. Honestly, all the apologies and excuses in the world couldn't salvage the dire situation.
Given how long the meal dragged out, we decided to order a "dessert" item, which was supposedly Crumpets. Unfortunately, what arrived at our table were things that looked like scones, tasted like bland cake mix, and had the texture of undercooked dough. Dousing it in the honey and butter was a necessity, though I still couldn't quite stomach, nor justify the calories, of this disgustingly bland dough.
The Turmeric Latte was absolutely disgusting. Despite having a bright yellow colour, the drink was disappointingly watery and bland. Akin to drinking a hot glass of water, with a hint of milk, the only resemblance that this drink had with turmeric was the slight aftertaste of indistinguishable spices.
The Pink Bits smoothie wasn't much better, and exhibited a bright red colour, as opposed to pink. The drink was again watery, and was exceptionally sour. Lacking in any taste of freshness or berries, it felt like the fruits used within would've been the frozen variety, creating the signature watery and sourness that enveloped the drink.
While the mains were serviceable for the most part, we simply cannot ignore the atrocious service we received. If this meal weren't an invitation to dine, there was absolutely no chance that we would've suffered through this three-hour ordeal.
Any normal person would've simply left and dined elsewhere.
Would Penguin Eat Again?
Highly unlikely. While there are definitely still items on the menu, as well as cakes and sweets that I'd be keen to sample, what we did try certainly wasn't good enough to warrant a revisit, especially given the rich price tag and terrible service that inevitably accompanies the meal.
Penguineats was invited to dine at Gypsey & Musquito.